Your Questions About Wind Mills Of Your Mind

Daniel Your Questions About Wind Mills Of Your Mind

Daniel asks…

Can we use wind to power a Car?

I was just thinking the craziest thoughts… imagine instead of freeways giant surface Tunnels and in the tunnels,
high current wind rushing through them powered by a Giant powerful fan.

Now imagine Cars with Sails!…. not your regular run of the mill ocean sails but like a Metal sail maybe? anyways the sail is connected to the roof and frame of the car and controlled by the steering wheel, so you could actually maneuver and of course Drive.

anyways.. I know that the Fan its self would also have to be powered some way but this would over all will cut our dependency on Gas by 75% ..(in theory)…

maybe we could also have a way for the car to store electricity while driving, maybe have a fan in front of the sail , that would spin at enormous speeds and would store electricity in batteries? …

and with that you could use it to get around in your city?… hmm or also have a small 2 gallon gas tank or some other kind of alternative fuel of your choice in case of emergencies?

anyways tell me what you think of my idea I know it sounds A BIT CRAZY.. but it just kind of came to my mind.. I haven’t heard of such a thing, anywhere how about you?
I mean having a fan on the back of the sail,… I know if you put a fan in front of the car it would defeat the purpose maybe try both ways to see the draw backs… …
Im response the “flaws” First there would be stop signs for exits where they could enter a tube exit then a sliding door will close behind it and then the front exit will open so that preasure(wind)wouldn’t be lost..

and these cars would have breaks.. so they don’t need to keep going esh besides they could always have a control tower or something to lower wind power in traffic? besides we already have traffic now so traffic is ultimately unavoidable.
Im response the “flaws” First there would be stop signs for exits where they could enter a tube exit then a sliding door will close behind it and then the front exit will open so that pressure(wind)wouldn’t be lost..

and these cars would have breaks.. so they don’t need to keep going esh besides they could always have a control tower or something to lower wind power in traffic? besides we already have traffic now so traffic is ultimately unavoidable.
FLAWS. Im response to the “flaws” First there would be exit tubes that with stop signs so when it turns red it will close then a sliding door will close behind it and then the front exit will open so that pressure(wind)wouldn’t be lost..

and to power the fan, maybe solar, maybe gas, nuclear, you name it the point being it will decrease our dependency on Gas by at-least 50%
car has to be light as a weather? ha … You forget how powerefull wind is.. it can pick up a tonka truck and toss it like a toy… so your wrong icon biggrin Your Questions About Wind Mills Of Your Mind

adminsta answers:

Retro idea dude
but there are several flaws
like how would the city get the power to power the wind tunnels and how would the tunnals propel wind when theres a traffic jam, how would the wind blow at the cars. What if you needed to exit the tunnel to go to work/school??

If you found out a way to fix the faws then man, you’d be awesome!!!
-Peace out

David Your Questions About Wind Mills Of Your Mind

David asks…

Has anyone ever heard of such a shipping method as this?

I don’t know why this popped into my mind just now and after so many years, but it got me thinking. There is a wide demographic that visits the ol’ rail category so I am hoping for an answer.

For background info, when shipping coil steel rolls from the mills, all I had ever seen was these 25 ton coils in flat cars built for that purpose alone. The centerline of the car was a simple, V shaped trough that cradled the coils. So it was only natural that these cars were dubbed with the moniker of “hog troughs.” Some of these cars also have a removable canopy. I’ve always guessed these were for stainless steel, but I don’t know. Coil steel in gondolas is just as common, I would think.

Here’s the tale:

I was on a typical northbound dog consisting of mixed freight. We had to make a pick-up at a place called Black Butte. We were past Mt Shasta City, and got a rolling inspection from a southbound train at a place called Upton. They called the conductor on the radio and said it looked like a roll of news print wad come unsecured and had pushed out the bottom of the door. The next station was Black Butte where we had work anyway, so the conductor decided we’d inspect there. Then when we were heading into the siding, the conductor in the caboose said simply, “Stop the train, Bob.”

The reason why is there was a roll of coil steel laying in the toe path. This thing had been loaded into a box car. News print is very heavy too, does ship in box cars, but it isn’t a roll of coil steel. I can’t think of how they loaded it, since it wasn’t from the top. Using a super forklift doesn’t fit, to my mind. I mean, as soon as the front wheels roll onto the cars floor, that car is going to tip.

So, has anyone ever heard of this nutty method of shipping coil steel? Or was it a ‘one of’ sort of deal to your mind?

But here’s the kicker:

Black Butte is a 10 mph siding, so the roll just let gravity help it out of the car. But when we went through Mt Shasta City, we were clickety-clacking along at 40 mph. We crossed six grade crossings. It scared me to think this thing could have wound up in someone’s lap. This was under the noon day sun so there were people all over the place.

This is why I always suggest stopping back at least 50 feet from a passing train, whether on foot or as a driver. A coupe of weeks ago, a motorist was killed while sitting at a crossing waiting for a train to pass. There was a very low speed derailment that derailed five cars. One turned over on its side and killed the guy. But, if he had been back that 50 feet, he may have lived to tell of his own experience.

So, again. Has anyone known of shipments of coil steel in box cars?

Thanks

.
I never dreamed of it. But then again, I didn’t care about the wheeler, bills or anything else. Just the profile.

Then the last piece of the question would be, “Haven’t the shippers heard of plug doors?” Not one employed here, which probably now explains the 20 year old mystery.

Thanks for the info. It’ll go to a vote.

adminsta answers:

As one from the wider demographic spectrum, I was a sea-going engineer for many years, I have observed ‘shipping’ in its literal sense of many types of item. From the UK perspective, coiled steel sheet and wire was routinely handled at the rolling mills and the docks by the use of large side loading fork lift trucks which were adapted by the replacement of the twin forks with a single cantilevered probe, which passed through the centres of the coils. The coils were loaded on to the flat beds, of either rail or road vehicles from the side and thus had to be very securely chocked to resist the accelerating and braking forces.
Newsprint was a different kettle of fish as it is actually quite a delicate cargo. The slightest damage to the end of a reel makes it unsuitable to load onto the reel stand beneath the perfecting units in the newspaper’s machine room. In effect it would become waste paper if damaged. It was always loaded on to flat bed vehicles with the reels at right angles to the vehicles’ longitudinal axis Handling was by crane or ship’s derricks using self clamping grabs on the circumference. The jaws were fairly large to minimise the unit pressure on the reel. In the UK the main centres of newspaper production, London, Glasgow, Dundee and Manchester are all in fairly close proximity to to deep water docks and I never saw it consigned by rail.
Another surprisingly ‘delicate’ cargo was tinned steel plate. There was a regular export trade of this to Portugal, (for sardine tine). Any edge damage rendered it unsuitable for screen printing or loading onto the semi-automatic press brakes. The tin-plate was sheared to size and stacked and strapped onto small pallets at the rolling mill, then sent to the docks by rail in special short wheelbase covered vans. They were called ‘shock’ vans and had horizontal shock absorbers to minimise coupling ‘snatch’ and buffing loads. Although the safe loading was a Mate’s responsibility, we engineers always took an interest in what cargo we were carrying and how it was handled.

Ruth Your Questions About Wind Mills Of Your Mind

Ruth asks…

What if not???????????????????????????????

What if
The sky turns to flames?
And the seas boil in furious unison
If the mountains melt
And magma flows freely across the land
Vaporizing the trees
Would this be the end of us all?
Of all lives and livestock
Of flowers and gardens
Of young and old and aspirations
The end of all our installations
Huts and silos, the dams, the windmills
The treadmill, the corn mill, and sawmills
The pylons, the rigs, the masts
The carriages and horses, the cars and carts
The bridges and the cloudshoving towers
All the winding road to our trivial
Parks, fields and beaches
The subway and computers and mobiles
All our constructions
Designer shoes, hats and fabrics
Designer breasts and noses of plastic
Clones and hybrids
The docks and dockyards
The courts and courtyards
The shrines and crosses and minarets
The military, their weaponry
All the flags and colors

Would this be our quietus?
Would our souls on wings unseen
Fly away to another sphere?
Perhaps a heaven

What if not and I die in my sleep
And my folks and friends shed their tears and crocodile’s
If my wife dressed in black contemplates
Which of my friends to go on with

What if not

And I woke up tomorrow
Not in my wife’s arms(nor in my four-walled room)
but miles and miles away from nowhere
Clothed in skins and leaves
Wielding a club for survival
If my life depends on the strength of my club
And my shelter became the caves
The spring replace my piped water
My baths are done at streams
My toilet became the vast expanse
My music comes from the songs of the birds in the air
And the sky became the paintings on the wall
If I know the footsteps of the preys and can
Separate them from the predators’
If I know the herbs to treat my cuts and bruises
And know the nuts to crack with my fingers
I chase squirrels up the trees and crack their skull with my molars
And
It no longer matters if I eat to live or live to eat

What if not

If
I suddenly grow a voice that speak to heaven’s ears
If my eyes can see your mind
And my ears can hear from dogs

What if not

What If
I speak and no one understands anymore
If my cries and laughter do not mean nothing
If I scare all my friends away and
Speak in tongues my kins do not know
If I become a stranger in my own land
And walk the streets with no name
What if
I lose the limbs to walk the streets
And those that remember me only do in prayers

What if not
If I became a name that is big
And known well like Cocacola
If I could not walk the streets unnoticed
And my name is known like Obama’s

What if none as such happens
And am still me Diipo the poor bard
Who writes verses titled “what if not”
And cannot afford a dowry

What if?
What if?
The ghosts of my unwritten poems finally catch up with me and deal me a deathly blow
And I die unknown and unread except to such as you, who read “what if not”!

And then my friend, what if not?

adminsta answers:

There is a lot of good stuff in here. There is too much of it though. It reads like Leviticus instead of the Lord’s Prayer. That said, there are some great ideas in here and you could make it very resonant by trimming it by half with a scalpel not an axe.

Richard Your Questions About Wind Mills Of Your Mind

Richard asks…

Which of these poems is the best?

1.)
I remember summer nights,
and catching fireflies.
I remember grandpa’s stories,
told to small kids with wide eyes.
I remember baking cookies,
we did it every holiday.
I remember when my family was happy,
we were together, work and play.

Now, bedtime is early,
we rarely play outdoors.
Grandpa’s too tired to tell stories,
my cousins don’t come anymore.
There is no time for cookies,
Holidays are just a rush.
Children: older, parents: tired,
and laughter is responded with, “hush!”

I wish I knew where the time went,
I’ve quickly become a teen.
But, oh, how I love to remember,
The childhood that I’ve seen.
I know that life goes on,
You must dismiss your past.
But it’s hard to enjoy life day by day,
When life goes by so fast.
2.)

I remember when I held you close,
And always watched you grow.
I took you for granted all those months,
Didn’t know that you would go.
Looking back is painful now,
It fills me with regret.
I couldn’t remember you by day,
But you’re gone and I won’t forget.
If only I could bring you back,
Things wouldn’t be this way.
But you are not coming back,
You’re gone and gone to stay.
3.)
Bright pink flip flops clicking,
On a sidewalk tinted with sun.
Warm air melts fresh dew,
The day has just begun.
Bare feet in cool grass,
Laughter in your ear.
Long hair and new freckles,
The best time of the year.
Chlorine in teal water,
At the local pool.
Splashing in the summer sun,
The best way to get cool.
Icy cherry popsicles,
5 cent lemonade stands.
Road trips to the beach,
Where we play in warm sands.
It only lasts so long,
September school is near.
But while it lasts, I know for sure,
It’s the best time of the year
4.)
After all that’s happened,
After all you put me through.
How dare you stand before me,
Asking me to forgive you.
What do you expect?
Do you think that I forgot?
Well, the memories are as clear as day,
I still feel the emotions I fought.
Only now can I move on,
The pain is starting to wash away.
But I will never, ever forgive you.
I’ll never be truly okay
5.)

Boots squeak around the corner
Human voices sound with rage
My heart skips a beat
As I stare out of my cage.

I reflect on the life I’ve lived
Memories in the morning fog
This kennel I’ve spent my life in
As the mill’s main breeding dog.

I remember the first few years
Hungry belly, matted fur
And the day they cut my tail off
The most painful to occur.

I remember the puppies I had to have
From my arms they were ripped away
Oh, the memories that fill my mind
As he turns the corner today.

The man edges toward us
His black eyes fixed on me
He points at me, an object – a gun
The last thing I’ll ever see.
6.)
Quiet, Solitary.
Living only with a few.
My neck towers above the trees,
Like a plane in skies of blue.

Yellow, Brown.
My graceful spots in place.
Mile long eyelashes
Sweep dirt out of my face.

Savanna, Desert.
My journey never ends.
Only family joins me
I’ve left behind my friends.

Family, Giraffes.
But I’m still on my own.
In a field full of others
Yet I am alone.
7.)
A mighty rock in the grand canyon
It towers above the rest
From a distance it seems perfect
Flawless, simply the best.

Everyone was jealous
This rock had it all
The other rocks loved it
It was grand, and tough, and tall

Soon storm season approached
Wind hit the rock again and again
The rock tried to resist
But it finally gave in

That’s when the rock began to change
It’s surface wore away
The wind ate the rock alive
It got weaker day by day

But the rock couldn’t go back
It was stuck in it’s despair
The wind taking more each day
The rock just didn’t care

The other rocks grew worried
This rock had changed so much
It was a greener darker color
And unstable to the touch

Erosion had taken place
And the rock had gone away
A vicious circle spiraling down
It was gone and gone to stay.
Come on people I know it takes a long time to read but if you get best answer you get 10 points! Please!!!

adminsta answers:

My favorite is number 7.
Are you going to enter it into a contest or something?

William Your Questions About Wind Mills Of Your Mind

William asks…

which deck should i go with? yugi oh?

The Faultroll Loop

This combo involves using 2 “XX-Saber Faultrolls” and a “XX-Saber Ragigura” with “XX-Saber Gottoms” or “Dark Strike Fighter”(Traditional format only)/”Mass Driver”/”Cannon Soldier” to force your opponent to lose all their points or all the cards in their hand. It works as follows: by having two “Faultrolls”, one “Ragigura” and one Lv. 3 Tuner X-Saber monster on the field, you can Synchro Summon “XX-Saber Gottoms”. Then, Tribute “Ragigura” for “Gottom’s” effect and discard one random card from your opponent’s hand. After that, use “Faultroll’s” effect to Special Summon “Ragigura”, activating its effect to add the other “Faultroll” to your Hand and Summon it again. Tribute both “Ragigura” and the spent “Faultroll”, and re-use the unused “Faultroll” to repeat the combo. Repeat until your opponent’s Hand is completely empty. This combo can be especially deadly with Brionac to clear their entire hand and field. The exact same combo works with “Mass Driver” and “Cannon Soldier” to deplete your opponent’s Life Points, the only difference being that you do not need “XX-Saber Gottoms” on the field.

Monsters

* X-Saber Airbellum
* XX-Saber Emmersblade
* XX-Saber Darksoul
* XX-Saber Faultroll
* XX-Saber Fulhelmknight
* XX-Saber Ragigura
* Sangan
* Rescue Cat
* XX-Saber Boggart Knight

Synchro Monsters

* XX-Saber Gottoms
* X-Saber Urbellum
* XX-Saber Hyunlei

Spells

* Mind Control
* My Body as a Shield
* Saber Slash
* One for One

Traps

* Dimensional Prison
* Gottoms’ Emergency Call
* Saber Hole
* Starlight Road

SaberSworn

This version of the deck can be anywhere from only a slight modification of normal X-Sabers to a full-on hybrid. The general idea is to use Lightsworn monsters and support cards (primarily “Charge of the Light Brigade”) to mill the deck, dumping X-Sabers in the Graveyard quickly. This allows greater use of “XX-Saber Ragigura”, “XX-Saber Gardestrike”, “XX-Saber Fulhelmknight”, “XX-Saber Faultroll”, and “Gottoms’ Emergency Call”. Due to the limiting of Charge of the Light Brigade this is less playable.

The most commonly used Lightsworns, in a deck packing only a few of them, are “Ryko, Lightsworn Hunter” and “Lyla, Lightsworn Sorceress” for their easy destruction capabilities and the fact that they do not need to support Lightsworns. “Wulf, Lightsworn Beast” may also be used for its non-specificity. (Other cards, like “Garoth, Lightsworn Warrior”, “Lumina, Lightsworn Summoner” and “Aurkus, Lightsworn Druid” do specifically support Lightsworns.) Builds using more Lightsworns will generally only incorporate a few of each, to maximize the playability of “Judgment Dragon”. In such a deck, an ideal game-ending play would be to special summon “Judgment Dragon” and wipe the field, then normal summon “Rescue Cat”, special summon 2 “X-Saber Airbellums”, special summon “X-Saber Faultroll” from the hand, special summon another “X-Saber” from the graveyard, and attack to deal as high as – or higher than – 10,000 damage to the opponent.

Monsters

* Ehren, Lightsworn Monk
* Ryko, Lightsworn Hunter
* Lyla, Lightsworn Sorceress
* Card Trooper
* Rescue Cat
* Plaguespreader Zombie
* Judgment Dragon

Spells

* Charge of the Light Brigade
* Cold Wave
* Pot of Avarice
* Monster Reincarnation
* Saber Slash
* Solar Recharge

Traps

* Gottoms’ Emergency Call
* Phoenix Wing Wind Blast
* Threatening Roar
what else would i add to them and how many of each card should i run? thanks!

adminsta answers:

The Faultroll Loop
Because a X-Saber deck alone can achieve the loop and X-Sabers are better off by themselves and not mixed with anything else

Also due to the fact that Lightsworns are less supportive now since the banned list is on top of them
And it takes less time to achieve the loop than Sabersworn

IMO:
Airbellum x3
Emmersblade x2-3
Darksoul x2
Faultroll x2
Fulhelmknight x2
Ragigura x2
Sangan x1
Rescue Cat x1
Boggart Knight x3

Mind Control x1
My Body as a Shield x0 (Not in my favorite to run it)
Saber Slash x1-2
One for One x1

Dimensional Prison x2
Gottoms’ Emergency Call x2
Saber Hole x2-3
Starlight Road x1

Of course, after you add the staples (MST, Giant Trunade, Heavy Storm, Bottomless, etc.), it should be a common X-Saber deck

Nancy Your Questions About Wind Mills Of Your Mind

Nancy asks…

Whatcha think so far?

Short story about two girls who fall in love; I’m thinking of ending it heart break. (I’m just in that mood!) But I wanted some feed back. I think some things could be rephrased to flow better.

They met at fourteen, a tender age filled with the stirrings of primordial, hormonal needs and wants. The meeting was just after third period bell, in the clustered and crowded hallways of their junior high where the windows were nailed shut and the heat of the early summer days made it almost unbearable to have anything touching the skin. It was pure chance, both of them meandering down the halls, their eyes downcast and glazed over. Always unseeing in attempts to drown on the whispered rumors, the rambling rants of students who had flunked their Spanish speaking exams. They collided with one another suddenly, their books and papers spilling down on to the dusty peach colored tiles that clashed with the bright green wallpaper of the halls. One fell backwards heavily, landing on her palms and backside. The wind was knocked from her lungs and bright pinpricks of light danced in the darkness before her eyes. It took her a moment to come to and catch her breath and feel the heat of embarrassment stain her cheeks cherry red. People continued to mill around the two girls, uninterested in the clash.

“I’m sorry.”

She titled her chin back at ever the slightest angle to stare upwards at the perpetrator without having to look at her head on. It was another girl, her age and in her grade. This girl’s hair was a tangled mess of black, most of it pulled back into a sloppy pony-tail at the back of her head. Her hazel eyes were heavily lidded, casting a dreamy veil across her pale, creamy face. She looked concerned but not worried as the other girl pulled herself up and into a kneeling stance.

“It’s okay.”

The girl with the tangled hair fell beside her on her knees, on to some of the papers that had been scattered around them like leaves tossed from the bases of their mothering trees by a strong gale. Smiling, she handed her one, “Your name is Sasha?”

Sasha gave a start, her lips parting to ask how she knew but quickly closed them tight as she realized her name, Sasha Benington, was scrawled in her hand across the top of her paper.

“Yes.” Sasha replied, reaching down in front of her to pick up a paper that held a name that was not hers, “And you’re Scottie Vargas?”

“That’s me.” Scottie said easily as she piled the papers one on top of another before standing them upright to tap the bottom edges against the floor to straighten them.

“Scottie is an odd name for a girl.” Sasha said, glancing at the paper again. Her handwriting was small and cramped but very neat, unlike her own loopy, scrawling text. It seemed the strange girl only wrote in cursive as opposed to Sasha who hated the linked letters. She found it odd she liked Scottie’s. The thought fluttered through her mind as a butterfly does across a field of flowers; wanton in its travels, there and then gone.

“My mother wanted a boy. She was in love with the name Scott and I was lucky as it is that she at least feminized it a little, I’ve been told.” Scottie’s smile grew, showing off rows of even white teeth. Sasha felt a pang of envy; she herself would have braces for the next year and half.
“It’s different. I like it.” Sasha said amicably. She stared back at Scottie in the moment of silence that followed. ‘I like you’ was what was murmuring in the back of her mind. She had never had a connection like this, so sudden and fiercely burning away deep within her, a red hot coal that could not be smothered. She wanted to keep talking to the weird girl whose mother had wanted a son.
@Jake; It’s fine if you don’t like the subject :] I’m happy you were civil about it. Thanks for the comment!

adminsta answers:

You’re really good. You have amazing talent.
Dont get me wrong,i just dont like the stoyline. Sorry):

Donna Your Questions About Wind Mills Of Your Mind

Donna asks…

Could some one please judge some of my novel? icon smile Your Questions About Wind Mills Of Your Mind (I’m 13 years old)?

Hello! I’m 13 years old (14 this June) so this won’t be anything too special. I haven’t been writing for too long, I just wanted some constructive critism! icon smile Your Questions About Wind Mills Of Your Mind Thanks sooo much!

July 2, 1990: HANNAH

Down here at the beach, the air holds the scent of fresh sea salt all day long. I walk along the shore, feeling the soft breeze caress my bare legs. Sand crystals attach themselves to the soles of my feet and bury themselves between my toes, as if making themselves a home inside of me. As I look out onto the horizon and scan my eyes along the brilliant blue ocean, I wonder how something so still and peaceful could also be deadly. You could be swimming gracefully along the waters at one moment, and then being swallowed alive the next. The wind whistles in my ears and I imagine it is the mermaids singing the eerie words of their songs, back and forth in a language that any human could never understand.

Behind me, a vast strip of little shops selling floral tops and straw hats border the paved road while clusters of children and elderly couples mill about the area. Young men and woman lean against each other, stealing kisses and drinking in the sight of the sea. The docks along the shore are surrounded by small wooden boats and large ships anchored into the sand, waiting to be set free. I’ve never believed anything could truly be free; even the birds are chained helplessly to the sky.

I lie down on the sand and look out above me. It is a never ending quilt of blues that weave together fluently, resulting in a spectacular masterpiece. Today, hints of rosy pinks and purples are knitted in as well. Seagulls soar along the sky, their wings expanded fully, letting them glide easily along with the gentle breeze. Sighing, I sit up again. It is my fifteenth birthday and I am all alone.

My parents—being the professionals that they are—have gone away to a business meeting held at the town hall to drink sweet tea and eat buttered scones, which of course, leaves me by myself. I don’t mind too much, though. Being alone allows me to notice so much more in my surroundings. Right now, I notice the way the sun burns like a single lantern in the sky, washing light over the many nameless faces of people roaming along the sand. I notice the intense passion and desire lingering inside the vacant eyes of the premature boys that walk beside clueless girls but still don’t dare to make a move. I even notice how the wrinkled lips of elderly men turn up at the sight of their long-time partners coming into view, the aged women with their curls pinned back to frame their timeworn faces. Faces that, even after all this time, still appear to be almost angelic beneath the sunlight. Timeless love, I think. I’d like to have something like that, but, I’m not so sure if I believe in love.

People make it seem so easy, falling in love. But it would be so hard to give all of myself to someone without knowing if they want me in the first place, or without knowing if they’d keep me safe until the last breath of life escapes my lips. People always wonder why there are skeptics when it comes to love, but I wonder how, in a world full of heartbreak and sorrow, you could possibly offer someone your soul, trusting them not to break it and not caring if they do, as long as they’re right by your side all the while.

I push myself to stand just as my stomach growls, signifying hunger. Sand falls towards the ground like snowflakes as I brush off my shorts. I make my way to the line of shops, moving past herds of people until I find just what I’m looking for.

Jeb’s Diner is a quaint little spot, often holding all of the daytime gossip that occurs down here at the beach. On the outside, neon signs hang loosely above the door, while peeling posters of burgers and strawberry shakes hang on the windows. When I open the door, I am drowned in the sounds of dishes clashing together in the kitchen, whispers of conversation echoing from the lips of the customers seated at the bright red booths, and unknown fifties music playing from the glowing jukebox and lingering in the air. A round woman outfitted in a bright pink dress hustles towards me, smacking gum loudly between her lips. She grabs a menu and heads toward the back of the diner, motioning me to follow after her. I am seated in a worn down booth that could easily seat four, despite the fact that I am by myself.
Thanks a bunch for your answers! It helps a lot icon smile Your Questions About Wind Mills Of Your Mind
It’s a story about love and death icon smile Your Questions About Wind Mills Of Your Mind
And, alright, I won’t mention my age ever again…:)

adminsta answers:

Tone down the description and get to what’s going on. Though you’re good at it, you don’t need to use it so much to fill out space.

There are some places where the description sounds like you’re trying too hard, where simply adjectives could make it sound even better.

This was weird:

Sand crystals attach themselves to the soles of my feet and bury themselves between my toes, as if making themselves a home inside of me.

Like, really? Seriously? XD

This feels like a lump of description, and it’s unneeded. Okay, this girl is on a beach, her parents aren’t with her and it’s her birthday. Then she goes into a cafe and is greeted by an overweight lady in a pink dress.

Description is to be…tantalizing, emotion-grabbing, and gives you a feeling that you’re there. It’s not supposed to fill out an entire…seven paragraphs of a rather small scene.

Rewrite this with those raw descriptions that give us what the place looks like [we get that the sky is blue, we can assume that when you're stomach growls, it means you're hungry, etc.], what the place feels like, what the place even SMELLS like, and get rid of all the repetitive and obvious descriptions.

It was good, I couldn’t stop myself from reading it, but I feel like I could’ve skipped a lot of it.

OH, AND: does this scene really matter? Scenes are only to be there if they move the plot forward or develop character. In other words, your description is extended to a point where it’s just filling space and not driving anything forward. Just because I think you’re good, I’ll give you a few sites to use:

[Will edit, have to change a few settings on my computer quickly, sorry...xD]

EDIT:

How not to write a novel:

http://www.writeandpublishyourbook.com/writing/write-a-book/how-not-to-write-a-novel/

Mary-Sue litmus test [if this doesn't work, just Google it]:

http://www.ponylandpress.com/ms-test.html

The Novel Notebook:

http://www.scribd.com/doc/2309303/The-Novel-Notebook

How to write a novel:

http://justinelarbalestier.com/blog/2006/09/06/how-to-write-a-novel/

Okay, DON’T write a novel by this, it’s a joke lol:

http://www.secretgeek.net/nonwriter.asp
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